in the wake of it all: a prayer...

father, send us to the broken tonight.  keep us from seeking to give easy and shallow and wearying answers to questions that are bigger than us, stronger and more frightening than we can comprehend. give us the courage to allow our hearts to break alongside those whose lives have been shattered in the passing of a singularly eternal moment. fill us with the strength we need to keep our mouths closed and our hearts and arms and homes and souls open. above all else, send your peace to us, that you might send your peace through us, that we may hasten the day when all tears will be wiped away.  by your spirit, may we be to each other the grace we so desperately need. through Christ our lord, amen.

seasons: if i stand

i'm thrilled to be guest posting over in Mary Hess's corner of the interweb today, as part of her ongoing series on seasons.  i originally set out to do a hard-hitting expose on autumn, but, as is so often the case, things did not go as planned.

not really.  enjoy...

if i stand

the thing is, nothing has turned out like i thought it would. it took me the better part of two decades to finish my college degree, i spent ten years in ministry and when i left i had exactly nothing to show for it, and after leaving the ministry the best job i could get (at first, anyway) was setting appointments for dishwasher repairs across the southeast. i had given God a third of my life and what he gave me in return was a two bedroom apartment next to some college kids and a frequent wheeler and dealer card at the local pawn shop.

and so i began to think that God was testing me, purifying me, disciplining me, maybe even flat out punishing me.  over the past four years my views on some things have begun to evolve, and it occurred to me one day that maybe i was becoming a heretic, and maybe God was allowing me to experience hell on earth to help me avoid experiencing hell in, well, hell. and so i prayed.

click here to finish the post over at Mary's...